If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
