I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
