she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Randomize
