Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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