I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
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