I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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