I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
