I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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