he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
