He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I miss vodka workout Fridays
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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