its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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