I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Someone shit on the floor
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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