Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
