For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
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