My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Randomize
