...so i touched it.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Randomize
