he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
