brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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