My girlfriend figured out who you are.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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