butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
