I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
