well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
