the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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