no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
