if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
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