I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
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I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
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How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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