White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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