I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
