Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Randomize
