is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Randomize
