it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
there is glitter all over my balls
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