people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
