I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
