I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
it's like iHOP with fire
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
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