We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Randomize
