im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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