I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
