why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize