I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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