I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
