I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Randomize
