i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
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