Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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