things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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