i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize
