I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
