You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
