hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
where are you?
Hypothermia
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
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