i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
