The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
