what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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