She is in my trunk
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Randomize
