I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
