youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
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