what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
